Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Mother's Day Without My Mother: Quotes About Mothers, Tips for Grief & Loss

I want my children to know it is NOT normal to spend Mother's Day without your Mom. I am so sorry I could not be with you. I am so sorry we have to be apart, you did not do anything wrong, our family is just going through a hard time right now. And I pray that one day we will be together again. I love you so much, and thank God for you every day! You are the best Mother's Day present any mother could ask for.


Mother's Day is a special holiday to celebrate the love a mother has for her children, and the special role she has in the lives of her children, and in her family as a whole. Mother's Day is time to spend time with your mother,and celebrate family.

Typical Mother's Day celebrations include: sharing a meal, giving a gift to your Mom/Grandma or other special Mother in your life, spending time together, playing games, visiting relatives, looking at family photos, going on a picnic, going to church etc.

“But behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begins.” -- Mitch Albom, "For One More Day" 

"To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power."-- Maya Angelou

"Life began with waking up and loving my mother’s face." -- George Eliot

"The mother is everything-she is our consolation in sorrow, our hope in misery, and our strength in weakness. She is the source of love, mercy, sympathy, and forgiveness. He who loses his mother loses a pure soul who blesses and guards him constantly." -- Kahlil Gibran

"As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem. When you see this, your heart will rejoice and you will flourish like grass..."-- Isaiah 66: 13-14

"My mom and I have always been really close. She's always been the friend that was always there. There were times when, in middle school and junior high, I didn't have a lot of friends. But my mom was always my friend. Always." -- Taylor Swift

Christina Rossetti is a famous poet (1830-1849), the first poem she ever wrote, at age 11, was a poem to her mother:

To My Mother

To-day’s your natal day,
Sweet flowers I bring;
Mother, accept, I pray,
My offering.

And may you happy live,
And long us bless;
Receiving as you give
Great happiness.


* The holidays will bring up reminders of the loss, and what life was like before the loss.

Bonnie Rubenstein, EdD, says the holidays are time for increased sensitivity,"A grief burst—a normal experience after losing a loved one—may be triggered by the sight or sound of the holidays in a retail store, the smell of the holidays at home or in school, the taste of a favorite holiday dish once prepared by a loved one, or by a memory."

It's okay to feel stronger emotions around a holiday or other special occasion. Those emotions may want to make you cry, scream, be alone, avoid reminders of the loss or sleep more; that's normal. It's okay if you need extra help or support.  Or just need a friend to be by your side.

*Crying and laughing are both great way to release emotion. Or you could try: physical exercise (dance, running, biking etc), taking a walk in nature, journaling or writing a story, drawing, praying... what is important is that you take care of yourself, and do things that give you a positive boost of energy.

*It's okay to move on, or have fun or laugh. Part of the grieving process is making peace or coming to acceptance. If you find yourself having fun or laughing that's okay. It DOES NOT mean you have forgotten your loved one or don't care. That special person will always be a part of your heart, and your life.

*Celebrate the loved one, and what they meant to your life in a meaningful way on the holidays- release a balloon, say a prayer, read a special poem/Bible verse, listen to music, visit a place that was important to you, volunteer, spend time with family etc. Expressing your grief in a positive way, that gives you a sense of purpose, can help you heal and make peace with the loss. 

*Reach out for help or support if you need-- friends, church, family, counselor, school counselor are all great people to reach out to. Some churches or community organizations also offer support groups.

-- Daylen Swift, May 2014

For More:

"Grief and Loss: Tips on How we Can Help Those Affected" by John Tsilimiparis: 

"School Counseling Expert Offers Tips to Help Kids Cope with Grief and Loss During the Holiday Season" by Bonnie Rubenstein EdD: http://www.warner.rochester.edu/newsevents/story/1252/

Scriptures for Comfort During Grieving:   


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