Thursday, May 7, 2015

A Mother's Letter to Her Alienated Children

It will be a quiet Mother's Day without my children... another day like so many birthdays, holidays, religious celebrations, family events..without my children.


Parental Alienation or Domestic Violence by Proxy: There is no way you can claim to love your children but at the same time, deprive your children of the benefit a loving, nurturing parent in their lives. There is no way one person alone, forcefully assuming sole custody and control over a child by abusing the legal system or inflicting parental alienation, can replace the love, the skills and abilities, the family history and culture, the God given role assigned to be a mother or a father. Parental Alienation is brutal. It causes lifelong scars. It robs a child of the love and care they deserve, and makes them strangers to their own culture, their religion, their family and all the things family is made of. Even worse, parental alienation causes estrangement, fear and separation between a fit, loving parent and their child.

I will not be with my children on Mother's Day. But it is not my choice. My children were wrongly taken for me. I love my children with all my heart, and would do anything to have them safe at home, and in my arms again. One day my children see the door is open, and it always has been, to come home.

For all the children alienated from your parent, and spending Mother's Day or even Father's Day without that special person... my message to you is that you are loved. Unconditionally loved. Despite the time and distance apart, you are not forgotten. Be courageous and continue to love that parent. When you are hurt or confused or raging, call back those memories... the times you laughed together, the times you were nursed when you were sick, the special nickname you had, the bedtime stories..that is REAL, that is the TRUTH.

Be forgiving, and know that whatever you are being told, no parent is perfect. Before you judge or assume what is being said about the other parent is true, be willing to talk to that parent, and be willingly to examine your own memories and experiences for the truth. The birthday and holiday cards, the photos of you together, the silly games and countless other things that made your relationship special.. all offer clues. Do not lose your memories. They are precious.

Finally, dear children, know that you deserve to be loved, you deserve to have a real childhood and you deserve a life of your own. You do not need to know what adults are doing or why, adults can take care of themselves. You do not need to know personal details about your parent, if it is important they will tell you. You do not need to worry or be afraid, your childhood is a time to dream, explore and grow.

My prayer for your, dear children, is that you are safe, and that you know how much you are loved. Maybe you cannot say what you want to now or show your feelings. Maybe you have to pretend to be someone that you are not. Or you have to do things just to get along. No matter what - you are loved unconditionally; I know who you really are. You are precious. You are held up in prayer. And in countless ways, your name comes to my mind and heart every single day. 

Tu es mi corazon

I love 1,222,222,222,000,000,000 + 0 = U!

Mommy

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